Second Draft of 'Flight' with improvement notes

Above is the second draft of my short film 'Flight'. I uploaded it onto the website 'Youtube' to share it with other film fans to gain feedback. Audience feedback could then be used to improve the film.

I also showed the film to my tutors to gain an insight into any improvements which may need to be altered. Below are my findings:

• Sound needs to be added nearer the beginning of the scene. Both of my teachers noticed that not sound was introduced within the film until around 40 seconds, which is a large duration of time. Suggestions included to introduce footsteps, or the door shutting, to portray a better use of the sound tool.
• To alter the sequence at the end of the short film where Sophie is entering the toilet cubicle. The editing used was too jumpy, and overall deduced the feel and atmosphere of the film. This alienates the audience and does not have much purpose to the narrative. If this scene is changed, and the editing removed, then it will link to the graceful scene of the dancing. It will also make the door slamming and the sound of the lock more effective and punctual. 

Because of these improvements, we have decided to alter the sound to improve the feel of the film. This will make it more professional-looking and will involve the audience more-so into the production.