Storyboard Feedback

We have recieved some comments and constructive criticisms in regards to our hand-drawn storyboard for 'Flight' from our peers and teachers. These comments can be seen below:

• To change Sophie's costume. We will change Sophie's costume from her ballet outfit and shoes to one which appears to be more casual. This will show the audience how she is an aspiring ballet dancer, who one day dreams of dressing in the costume to perform in front of people. Removing this costume allows the character to connect with the audience more effectively as she will now be wearing a costume which is what would be expected of her to wear; being a young female.
  
• Removing shots which do not progress the narrative. Shots like this include the close up of Sophie's mother pressing the radio, and the close up of Sophie herself pressing the light-switch. These shots have no relevance to the narrative and only have the potential to bore audiences. Suggestions were added to show the lights turning on with the sound of a light-switch clicking, as this is a more subtle method of portraying to the audience that the lights in the studio have been turned on through the use of other methods of media.
  
• Removing Sophie's mother, Evanna. Our peers questioned the relevance of Evanna's character within our short film. One of my mentors said that the removal of Evanna would allow the audience to connect more deeply with Sophie. Also, the narrative of Sophie's anguish will be more personal to her, which will arguably be more effective. Because of this, we no longer require the dialogue between the mother and daughter. We have now decided to have no dialogue within the film at all to allow the audience to focus on other meanings and themes.
  
• To remove the scene of Sophie walking to the dance studio. This comment was made due to the fact that Sophie walking to the studio appears to have little relevance to the narrative and progression of the plot. However, we have decided to keep this scene in our first draft and see how it appears when we have filmed it. If it is not affective we will fix this issue in our second or final draft.