Flight - First Draft Feedback

Above is the first draft for my short film, 'Flight', which I shared on Youtube in the hope of receiving some feedback from the website, due to the fact that many young aspirational film makers use that particular website to share their footage. As of yet, we have had had no responses from Youtube members.

I also uploaded this video to my Tumblr Media blog to gain feedback on what people particularly liked about the film and possible improvements for when we create the second draft. I felt that it would be beneficial to share our film on social networking sites as it would result in gaining feedback from people who belong within our targeted audience - young people. It was worthwhile as I gained many opinions, some of which can be seen below:

I will take the opinions which have been shared with me and keep them in mind whilst filming the second draft of my film. Most of the feedback which was received pointed out many of the positive aspects of the film - such as the colours which we used in the nature scene, the framing of many of the shots, the editing. However, some criticisms were received, saying that sound needed to be added to show meaning, and that the stability of some of the shots needed to be corrected. We also showed the film to some of the peers in our Media group, and to our Media teachers. The teachers suggested that the film should focus more heavily on the drug itself, without making it too evident as that would take away the effect. Ideas were that Sophie should be shown holding the drug, or that some shots should be incorporated which would make the narrative of our short film easier to understand. Mrs. Stone said that she particularly liked the shot of Sophie's silhouette in the bedroom sequence, as it added a sense of grace to the film and showed the audience Sophie's goals and aspirations. However, she added that it would be beneficial if we played around with the sound on the nature sequence, to show the lack of balance in Sophie's lifestyle. She particularly noted the sound of the train, as it was quite loud and didn't fit with the tranquil shots of nature. Mrs. Stone also added that the exchange of the drug seemed random and did not fit in with the rest of the nature. Mr. Cunningham said that we should remove the scene of Sophie walking to the dance studio, as it was unnecessary and didn't add anything to the narrative, and perhaps may bore audiences. He did, however, say that he really liked the opening shot of our film (the dark ballet studio with the only light source being from the door), as it showed a lot about Sophie's character. 

I have decided to take on board all of the comments which have been suggested, and make improvements for the second draft:

• To consider using a sound bridge to link the nature scene and the shot of the train passing together. This will make the film flow more consistently and will not seem as daunting.
• To use flashback sequences of Sophie taking drugs before-hand. It will be unsure to audiences whether this is showing the future, or showing the past, and will seem quite surreal. To do this we will make the shots very quick and ensure that the lighting is bright.
• To make sure that the camera is stable, particularly in the sequence where Sophie is shown to be purchasing drugs.
• To remove the shot of Sophie walking to the dance studio.
• To use sound to portray meaning to the audience, as currently the lack of music leaves the production feel empty.

Overall, sharing my production has greatly benefited my production, as it means that I have many improvements to work on for the re-shoot. Many people also pointed out positive aspects of the film, which is important as we now know which shots to keep and which shots to remove.